I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
