i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
