He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize