I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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