i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
