Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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