Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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