I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
