don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
