sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
