somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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