On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
