Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
