I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
