Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
