do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
