the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
