look no pants
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
