So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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