I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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