Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
