can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
