alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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