I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
