even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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