dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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