Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize