His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
These tits shall not be calmed
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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