I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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