I wanna bring you to show and tell
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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