Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
