K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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