I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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