She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
