Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
