nut hugger
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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