During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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