Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
