is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
