my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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