You're my little dorito
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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