I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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