If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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