Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
