Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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