I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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