Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
