got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
