dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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