so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize