He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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