he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
