So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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