On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
