I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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