The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
