When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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